Oh. I feel you. Hard.
Hi! I'm Nookie. I'm kinky and nonmonogamous, and there have been times with my partner when it seems like every other conversation was about our nonmonogamous relationships.
And not in a good way.
In a "I can't understand..." way.
And frankly, joining polyamory groups was not the answer I had hoped it would be. I don't know if it's just because I'm also kinky, or because I don't fit a box, but it seemed like so often that people would give advice that I just KNEW didn't work for me.
And it's not like I didn't TRY.
And I just wasn't really relating to their experiences. Or, not all of them. Some of them, I did, but then I read people suggesting that they break up with their partner over this or leave them over that, and I felt sad.
After all, we've managed to make it through and grow our lives with others in amazing ways—with exactly some of the same challenges that others had and were told to break up.
It was like the wild west of nonmonogamy advice.
Who to believe? Who to listen to? After all, a lot of the people in those groups were newer to all this than I was, and were posting their own relationship ups and downs daily while giving advice in between.
So what I did was research. A LOT. I asked a bunch of experts. I had conversations with people at this game much longer than I. I interviewed people. I read books. And over 4 years, I grew to the point where I felt not just comfortable, but at home in nonmonogamy.
And I got good at the multiple loves thing. In fact, I'm thrilled with my life and the people in it.
But you know what never stopped bothering me?
Those groups. And their advice. And the judgyness and the all-over-the-place opinions, and the hyper focus on polyamory as the holy grail of nonmonogamy, with serious side-eye at any other configurations.
So, a couple years ago, when I had the opportunity to bring amazing presenters together in video and audio to share what they knew about nonmonogamy, I did it.
For me and for you.
And In January of this year, I did it again! I created a weekend event for nonmonogamous folks to come together and share and learn from these brilliant people and to support each other.
And more, this time, I created a community. And a membership to access all the replays from the past few years of nonmonogamy content (50+), and education and more.
And that's what NotCheating.com is all about.
So, if you haven't already, join the list. I'll start sending you some important content right away, and invite you to our server community (totally optional!), and always keep you up to date on new nonmonogamy information, presentations, events, and more.